10 posts tagged “spirituality”
Have you heard of Supplementology? It's a new religion that combines religion and science so people don't have to choose between the two. The religion is based upon nine tenets - what they call "The Nine Norms" that could be a bit controversial. Well, I guess that goes without saying since this is for a religion that combines itself with science.
You can read them and all about this religion on Supplementology.org. I don't agree with every single thing in "The Nine Norms", but I do like some of the things they believe in. For instance, there's a heavy theme that God does not punish or reward. I do believe that God is not punishing, but I also believe He is rewarding when you keep yourself close to Him.
It's always good to learn about different beliefs, dissect them and reaffirm my own beliefs. It's good to know I have my own beliefs today - and I encourage everyone to do the same.
So I've been looking for a different place to buy my program friends Christmas presents this year - I have traditionally gone to a recovery-type site, but this year I wanted to branch out a bit. I found a site that has spiritual books and CD’s. This is right up our alley - we are all constantly trying new books and telling each other about them, passing them around in our circles. I like to get unique gifts and not the same old, same old so this is great. I've got my sights set on the book titled Love is Letting Go of Fear right now. Doesn't that sound intense? Gotta get it.
I woke up extremely crabby this morning. I wasn't feeling well and I really didn't get enough sleep, I guess, because I just woke up in a funk. One of those days where you want to hide under the covers and not get out of bed. I didn't have that luxury, though, so I forced myself out of bed to get ready for the day.
As I was walking out the door, I remembered that I hadn't "hit my knees" yet to pray or to sit quietly with God. I put all of my things down on the coffee table and kneeled down before my big, comfy chair and asked God to help me with this day. I took out a daily reader and was reminded of something that I so often forget: I have a choice about what my mood will be today. I can decide to be happy or negative. Even if I'm in physical or emotional pain, I can still choose to be positive, I can dig up some gratitude, brush my hands off and go about my day in a much better frame of mind. Or, I could decide to stay negative and nasty and go about hating life and not enjoying my day.
The way I look at it is, I don't know how many more days I get on this earth - why waste one? And with that, I'm uplifted and ready to face the world with a smile. I might still have a terrible sinus headache, but I also have an incredible amount of blessings in my life. This headache will pass soon enough. I can sit quietly in my office and take care of myself, but I don't have to let it dictate how my day will go.
What a freedom it is to live this way.
I just love this passage from one of my favorite daily readers: In God's Care. It reads as follows.
To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves - Will Durant
In our youth many of us heard from our mother or father, "If you can't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all." We didn't practice this principle very well then, and many of us still don't. The real root of our struggle to speak well of others is the pain we suffer because of our low self-esteem, and diminishing another person's worth, unfortunately, gives us a moment of stolen satisfaction. But in reality, the illusion of elevating our own worth for that brief, hurtful moment dies quickly, and our remorse and shame linger on.
In God's eyes, we are all equal. To God, no one among us has more value than another.
Praying for knowledge of this understanding every day will relieve our compulsion to diminish someone else. And even more importantly, it will help us understand our equality and value in this living universe.
I will see worth and value in myself and everyone else today.
Pretty powerful, huh? I don't think I struggle with saying nice things about others, but I do struggle with talking bad about people. I always justify it in my mind, but I guess the truth is I really have no right to judge another. This is definitely one of those long-lasting character defects... I don't foresee perfection in this area any time soon.
I wrote previously about not getting enough quiet time in my life. With this being the 11th month, I've been hearing and reading a lot about the 11th step - which reads:
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him.
I made a decision last week to start making a more concerted effort to practice the 11th step in my life and I've been moderately successful. It's meant forcing myself to get up earlier,e ven when tired, but it's been worth it. I am starting to feel a difference already.
I am specifically looking for some answers to make a decision about my sponsorship situation right now and while I haven't received them yet, I know that with time and continued practice, I will.
This week I need to make the same commitment to myself. I set up a nice little nook for myself in my front living room and that has been helpful, too. It's so important to have a good spot to get in the right frame of mind - at least it is for me.
Share your prayer and meditation rituals with me... I'd love to hear them.
I think I may have to get a new sponsor. I'm not looking forward to it and yet I am. The situation with my sponsor now is weird - I've never even met her and I've been working with her for a year! That hasn't really been a major problem, although it is a factor. The biggest issue for me right now is not being able to talk to her on a regular basis - our schedules just don't mesh. The other major issue is that she's not real big on working the steps - at least not like how I'm used to. I feel like my program has been slipping little by little and I am craving a more traditional, structured sponsoring style - the kind I had when I first got into recovery.
I have a couple of people in mind to ask, but I'm scared. That fear of rejection is strong. And I know if the answer is no it's not really rejection - I guess I'm more afraid of hearing "no". I don't like no.
Right now I need to get quiet with this - sit in prayer and meditation and find out what my next steps should be.
The other night at a meeting, the speaker read a short story to us that has really stuck with me and I've been sharing it with as many people as I can because I believe it is so profound and touching. Here is the story:
When a woman in a certain African tribe knows she is pregnant, she goes out into the wilderness with a few friends and together they pray and meditate until they hear the song of the child. They recognize that every soul has its own vibration that expresses its unique flavor and purpose. When the women attune to the song, they sing it out loud. Then they return to the tribe and teach it to everyone else.
When the child is born, the community gathers and sings the child's song to him or her. Later, when the child enters education, the village gathers and chants the child's song. When the child passes through the initiation to adulthood, the people again come together and sing. At the time of marriage, the person hears his or her song.
Finally, when the soul is about to pass from this world, the family and friends gather at the person's bed, just as they did at their birth, and they sing the person to the next life.
In the African tribe there is one other occasion upon which the villagers sing to the child. If at any time during his or her life the person commits a crime or aberrant social act, the individual is called to the center of the village and the people in the community form a circle around them. Then they sing their song to them.
The tribe recognizes that the correction for antisocial behavior is not punishment; it is love and the remembrance of identity. When you recognize your own song, you have no desire or need to do anything that would hurt another.
Isn't that beautiful? I have been trying to remember this when my kids misbehave or when people in my life "act out" - they just need more love and to be reminded of "their song". I feel like I've found my song these past few years in recovery and it is very true that the more I recognize my own song, the more I want to be true to it, letting nothing else get in the way of that. Do you know what your song sounds like? Do you have someone in your life who needs to be reminded of their song? Sing a song tonight, whether its your own or someone else's. :-)A friend is someone who knows your song and sings it to you when you have forgotten it. Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.
Ever since I did my 9th step, I've been pretty viligant about my actions so that I would have to make as few amends as possible going forward. Making amends is not a fun process - although it is cathartic - and I'd prefer to do it as little as possible. This week I made a gross error in judgment and paid for it with a guilty conscious big time. I told a lie to an insurance company, telling them I had more damage than i actually did in hopes to get more coverage from them and pay less out of my own pocket. As soon as I uttered the words, I got that tense feeling in my gut and knew I had made a mistake. It was a little too late to back out of it, though, so I was just all torn up inside.
I spoke to my sponsor about it, after much reluctance to do so and she suggested I start making plans to make amends in other ways: donating money to causes, etc. I hated that I did this to myself because I only recently finished making financial amends for my past behavior in much the same manner. I know, though, that if I didn't do something about this to make it right that it would erode away at my sanity and my serenity and possibly lead me down the path to relapse.
A funny thing happened yesterday: my insurance company notified me that my policy didn't cover any of the damages. I had to pay for everything myself! Instead of being upset or angry with this news, I was actually relieved. I felt a weight lift off my shoulders and knew that we'd find a way to pay for the damages ourselves without being dishonest about anything. As I went through our bills and other options, I did find a way to make it work. I slept like a baby last night - no coincidence there.
Lesson learned - hopefully. I don't want to go through that craziness again for a long, long time.
I forced myself to have some quiet time at lunch today and it helped some. It probably would have been better had the dog not been here whining and stuff. I'll be so glad when he goes back home. The craving for quiet time was almost physical it was so strong. I've only been to one meeting this week and so I think my emotional state is just reacting to not getting enough spiritual food. I plan to rectify that this weekend.
Do you read any daily self-help or spiritual type readers? I try to. I used to read about ten a day! Lately, though, I've had a hard time finding (making?!) time to do it. One of my favorite authors is Melody Beattie. She has such a great quality to her writing that is very real - she knows how to engage her readers. I always feel better after reading something by her.
Here are some of the other daily readers I like to read:
Voices of Recovery
Courage to Change
Twenty Four Hours a Day
In God's Care
And here are some I would like to get:
Night Light: A Book of Nighttime Meditations
A Woman's Spirit
Keep It Simple
